I feel blue.
Why does it feel like the world crashed through my roof?
May because it did so.
I wonder whether the omnipotent still loves me anymore?
I am a horrible human being.
Absolutely horrible
That I am
for sure.
I compromise and let myself down
more than I should
I shun the good ones out
If only I could trust them
I most definitely would.
The physical agony just gets longer instead
I rest my head
against my perpetual companion -
My one true bed.
How I long
to once more be hale and strong.
Bid adieu to illness and stress
And linger in 'his' caress.
But he doesn't know.
Will he ever??
If I confide in him
Will we speak pleasantly thereafter?
So many questions that linger in my mind
I am just so ordinary
Perhaps easily replaceable
with one
from amongst the sea of mankind.
I search for my purpose
It perpetually eludes me.
Happiness and spontaneity
then fly out the window.
I used to be free-spirited once
Charming even,
one might say
Where have those days gone?
Bring them back
I pray.
Where am I?
in this solitary web of my own doing
So many wrong choices
Only to leave me fuming.
Where to head now?
I guess its back to the beginning.
Wrong or right?
Pathetic or nigh
Will just have to unfold along the way
MAybe i shouldn't be so insanely choosy.
nay!
Nay!
Mother's wise words incessantly chime
"And you aren't a princess
that circumstances will always be rosy and gay
the wicked won't always have their heads cast asunder
nor will they give you the time of your day."
If only life was a beautiful fairy tale
maybe it would be so much easier
I'd just have to be naive and kind
Whilst waiting for prince charming to appear.
But life doesn't work that way
for that I'd have to cast my feminist and man-hating ways aside
Love sometimes creates far abundant problems
rather than it unifies.
So for now I shall trudge along
Solitary and bare
Lonely as a hare.
Wilfully glimpsing at the future
while attempting to dare.
And silently hoping my efforts will
a sembleance of amazing result bear.
